Happy Birthday, Literary Scorpios. Our intrepid astrologer is ready to read your charts…
Augusten Burroughs (1965)
Stop acting like a child. It’s time for you to grow up and stop running with scissors.
Pat Conroy (1945)
Oh, boo-hoo. Nobody remembered your birthday. You gonna cry, little girl?
Dylan Thomas (1914)
Nobody likes a mean drunk. Learn to express yourself through your words.
Sylvia Plath (1932)
It’s your birthday. Let someone else do the cooking. You don’t want to be slaving over a hot stove today.
Fyodor Dostoevski (1821)
Your addictive personality gets you into hot water, Teddy. Don’t pawn your watch – trust me.
John Keats (1795)
Time to let loose and be a little bad. Remember, only the good die young!
Dick Francis (1920)
Let me guess…you want a HORSE for your birthday?
Neal Stephenson (1959)
Keep it simple. Brevity is the soul of wit.
Albert Camus (1913)
Call your Maman and tell her you love her. She won’t be around forever, you know.
Anne Sexton (1928)
Nobody likes to do routine maintenance, but do me a favor and take your car into the shop. You’ll thank me later.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (1922)
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850)
Your emotions can sometimes get the best of you. It’s like you’re two different people. Don’t forget to breathe.