IKE | Literary Scorpios
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Literary Scorpios

Augusten Burroughs

Literary Scorpios

Happy Birthday, Literary Scorpios. Our intrepid astrologer is ready to read your charts…

October 23
Augusten Burroughs (1965)
Stop acting like a child. It’s time for you to grow up and stop running with scissors.

October 26
Pat Conroy (1945)
Oh, boo-hoo. Nobody remembered your birthday. You gonna cry, little girl?

October 27
Dylan Thomas (1914)
Nobody likes a mean drunk. Learn to express yourself through your words.

Sylvia Plath (1932)
It’s your birthday. Let someone else do the cooking. You don’t want to be slaving over a hot stove today.

October 30
Fyodor Dostoevski (1821)
Your addictive personality gets you into hot water, Teddy. Don’t pawn your watch – trust me.

October 31
John Keats (1795)
Time to let loose and be a little bad. Remember, only the good die young!

Dick Francis (1920)
Let me guess…you want a HORSE for your birthday?

Neal Stephenson (1959)
Keep it simple. Brevity is the soul of wit.

November 7
Albert Camus (1913)
Call your Maman and tell her you love her. She won’t be around forever, you know.

November 9
Anne Sexton (1928)
Nobody likes to do routine maintenance, but do me a favor and take your car into the shop. You’ll thank me later.

November 11
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (1922)
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”

November 13
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850)
Your emotions can sometimes get the best of you. It’s like you’re two different people. Don’t forget to breathe.

David Isaacson
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