Time for more horoscopes already? Let’s see what’s in store for some of the literary Virgos…
Malcolm Cowley (1898)
A toast! Er…I mean…let’s have some toast. It’s not good to drink your calories.
James Tiptree, Jr. (1915)
Time to face up to issues you’ve been avoiding. “Man up! You write like a girl!”
Martin Amis (1949)
Admit your true feelings to a friend. It could be a bro’mance made in heaven…if only you believed.
Guillaume Apollinaire (1880)
Relationships with friends can seem so surreal, Bill. Did Picasso really try to steal the Mona Lisa?
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749)
Oh boo hoo! Girlfriend says she just wants to be friends. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If you want be their master, bait.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797)
Your latest literary creation is about to take off. Don’t let it go to your head – you don’t want to create a monster!
Molly Ivins (1944)
Your luck is turnin’. You’re hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch and soon you’ll be drivin’ the gravy train with biscuit wheels.
Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875)
Better cool it on the birthday champagne. Next thing you know, you’ll be swingin’ from the rafters and yellin’ at the top of your lungs.
Richard Wright (1908)
There’s no escaping who you are. Be the “bigger” man.
Leo Tolstoy (1828)
Happy horoscopes are all alike; every unhappy horoscope is unhappy in its own way. Everything is in confusion in the Tolstoy house. Intrigue with a French girl?
H.L. Mencken (1880)
Whoa! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Like my Daddy used to say: “if you can’t say something nice about someone…”
Agatha Christie (1890)
You always wait till the last minute to tell friends about your birthday plans. This year, gather them together in the drawing room for a party. What’s the big mystery?
William Carlos Williams (1883)
This is just to say…I have eaten the birthday cake that was in the refrigerator and which you were probably saving for later. Forgive me, it was delicious – so sweet and frosty and so cold.
Stephen King (1947)
You’re looking a bit peaked. Get some exercise. Take a walk…and, don’t forget to walk AGAINST traffic.