IKE | Literary Leos
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Literary Leos

Literary Leos

It’s horoscope time. Let’s see what’s in store for the literary Leos. I had my friend, the budding astrologist take a peek at the charts for a few of these writerly lions and lionesses. Here’s what she sees:

July 23
Raymond Chandler (1888)
Your future is a bit of a mystery, but I see you settling down with “a blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”

July 24
Zelda Fitzgerald (1900)
Can’t stand the heat, get out of the mental hospital. You need to chill, baby. Life’s too short.

Alexandre Dumas, pere (1802)
Work gets better when you collaborate with others. “All for one and one for all,” should be your motto.

July 30
Emily Bronte (1818)
Stop pining for a lost love. It only hurts those around you. And stop procrastinating and get cracking on your second novel – it isn’t going to write itself.

August 1
Herman Melville (1819)
Others have high expectations for you, but you are free to do as you wish. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If asked why, simply reply: “I prefer not to.”

August 2
James Baldwin (1924)
Feeling unloved and unwanted. Maybe the U.S. is not the place for thee, why not head to gay Paree?

August 5
Guy de Maupassant (1850)
Your future looks bright, but with you, there’s always some last minute change of plan.

August 15
Stieg Larsson (1954)
Time to switch to decaf and hit the gym. Lighten up, dude. You’re a heart attack waiting to happen.

August 16
Charles Bukowski (1920)
Work is a bit of a slogs these days. Don’t go postal. Let loose on the weekend. What harm could it do?

August 22
Dorothy Parker (1893)
You’ve never been lucky in love and this weekend should be no exception. Serves you right for putting all your “eggs in one bastard.”

David Isaacson
1 Comment
  • g-dub

    LOL. Leos & literati 4eva!

    08.04.11 at 1:03 PM