IKE | Portmantomes
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Portmantomes

Portmantomes

Back in 2006, Chronogram, the Hudson Valley arts and culture magazine, ran a contest called Joined at the Hip. The idea was to combine two books &#224 la Separated at Birth, creating what contestant Laura Covello dubbed “portmantomes.” The Nervous Breakdown had a recent mention titled: What We Talk About When We Talk About Love in the Time of Cholera.

Here are a few examples from both sites:

Cat on a Hot Tin Drum
A desperate woman hides her stunted husband’s liquor
until he agrees to grow up and have sex.

The Devil and Daniel Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary
A beaten man must stand trial for his soul after wagering with a mysterious stranger that antidisestablishmentarianism is the longest word in the English language.
—Jude Tulli,Tonopah, AZ

Middlesex and the Single Girl
A hermaphroditic magazine editor engenders controversy with some unusual dating tips.
—Laura Covello, Ulster Park

Rand McNally Road Atlas Shrugged
Complicated set of directions nobody understands, but often pretends to.
—Kristin Henderson, Red Hook

The Pelican Brief History of Time
A British physicist threatens to expose the secrets of the universe…
unless a Memphis district attorney can stop him.
—Greg Olear, New Paltz, NY

I’ve added a few of my own:

Paris Trout Fishing in America
A shopkeeper kills the sister of a black man who refused to pay for a used trout stream he bought.

Green Eggs and Ham on Rye
I like to drink
and zits have I
That’s why I wrote Green Eggs
and Ham on Rye

The Unbearable Lightness of Being There
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Good to Great Gatsby
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Focus on the green light,” he told me, and never give up hope.”

Heart of Darkness Visible
William Styron sinks deeper into depression. The horror.

You can find more at The Reality-Based Community and Robert’s Stochastic Thoughts.

Don’t be shy. Give it a try…and send me your creations.

David Isaacson
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